Vancouver Proud Boys Storm Hawthorne Thrift Stores In Search Of Meyers Leonard Jerseys

Last week, ex-Portland Trail Blazer Meyers Leonard was caught on Twitch using an anti-Semitic slur while playing a video game. Leonard was widely condemned, and his future in the NBA remains uncertain. Yet some, like Vancouver Proud Boy Ralph “Chuddles” Berenson, saw the situation differently.⁣
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“When Meyers refused to kneel for the anthem, we knew he was one of us,” said Berenson. “But when he came after Jews on his livestream, our hearts filled with glee. He’s a true American patriot and I must demonstrate my gratitude.” ⁣
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Early Sunday morning, Berenson got permission to borrow his mother’s PT Cruiser. He headed to Camas to pick up fellow Proud Boy Stuart “‘Hannity’ Is My Safeword” Dawson and the two drove into Portland for a day of thrifting.⁣
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“Chuddles and I got up way early to beat the Proud Boys rush,” said Dawson excitedly. “I know all the boys are gonna be storming the aisles today looking for Meyers Leonard jerseys.“⁣
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When asked whether far right terrorists like the Proud Boys actively follow the NBA, Berenson shook his head. “I mean, we hate the Blazers and their BLM-rally-leading point guard and their fans who are obviously antifa. Most of us just root for historically white institutions like the Utah Jazz and Indiana Pacers. There just has never been a player that unites the right quite like Meyers. Finding his jersey would be like finding the holy grail.“⁣
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Berenson and Dawson marched up and down Hawthorne Boulevard, scouring racks at Buffalo Exchange, Red Light Clothing Exchange and Goodwill in search of their magnum opus. Although their quest for the threads of their king did not bear any fruit, Dawson still believed the trip was worth it. “We did some important antifa recon and we even got to show our support by waving and honking to some fellow Meyers stans, the Portland Police Bureau. All cops are beautiful!“⁣