Politics

Politics

Alitos Praise Oaks Park For Hanging Riders Upside Down

28 riders were stranded 50 feet in the air, suspended upside down for over a half hour until first responders were able to lower them down

Greedy, Money-Grubbing Teachers Demand Livable Wage

Covetous local educators continue to make unreasonable demands such as increased salaries and smaller class sizes, as well as expanded mental health support for students and improved building safety.

Nation Watches Trailer For New Season Of White POTUS

The nation received a sneak peek into the latest season of White POTUS Tuesday evening. Audiences were predictably divided.

Report: If You Made It To Salt & Straw Before 8:00 PM, Stay In Line!

Salt & Straw scoopers are mandated by law to make sure that you are able to pick your favorite flavor of ice cream, along with your choice of toppings, and a selection of either a waffle cone or bowl, so long as you are in line before 8:00pm.

Alitos Praise Oaks Park For Hanging Riders Upside Down

28 riders were stranded 50 feet in the air, suspended upside down for over a half hour until first responders were able to lower them down

Greedy, Money-Grubbing Teachers Demand Livable Wage

Covetous local educators continue to make unreasonable demands such as increased salaries and smaller class sizes, as well as expanded mental health support for students and improved building safety.

Nation Watches Trailer For New Season Of White POTUS

The nation received a sneak peek into the latest season of White POTUS Tuesday evening. Audiences were predictably divided.

Report: If You Made It To Salt & Straw Before 8:00 PM, Stay In Line!

Salt & Straw scoopers are mandated by law to make sure that you are able to pick your favorite flavor of ice cream, along with your choice of toppings, and a selection of either a waffle cone or bowl, so long as you are in line before 8:00pm.

New Poll Shows Betsy Johnson Most Likely Candidate To Win Election For Christine Drazan

The latest Quinnipiac University/Stumptown Scallion polling released today shows a tightening of the gubernatorial race in Oregon.

Senator From State With Recent Mass Shooting Co-Sponsors Gun Legislation Introduced By Senator From State With Recent Mass Shooting Amid Objections From Senator From State With Recent Mass Shooting

Meanwhile, six Supreme Court Justices from states who just had mass shootings ruled to prevent restrictions on carrying firearms in public, a decision that impacts 330 million Americans whose states just had mass shootings.

Portlander Recognizes Stolen Land Before Placing Settlement In Catan

“As I stand on the sacred banks of the 2:1 wheat port, having just cut off Greg and utterly upended his entire strategy, I must first pay heed to the fact that I am building this settlement on lands that don’t belong to me.”

“How Can I Be Racist? I Know All The Words To ‘Where Is The Love’ By The Black Eyed Peas” –Former Newberg Educator, Still In Blackface

Pefferle was irate that she was being called a racist, insisting that would be impossible as she knew almost all the words to the Black Eyed Peas 2003 hit, “Where Is The Love.”

“How About A Fresh Start?” Suggests Ted Wheeler, Pointing To His New Bangs

Big changes are coming to City Hall this summer, according to a press release early Thursday morning from Mayor Ted Wheeler’s office.

Ted Wheeler Can’t Believe He Didn’t Think Of Fleeing To Cancun During Portland Protests

Mayor Wheeler was basking in the glow of temporarily being Portland’s second-least favorite Ted when it occurred to him that he had greatly missed an opportunity last summer to pack up and leave at a time when his constituents were experiencing civil unrest.

National Guard Ordered To Stand By At U.S. Capitol Just In Case Non-White Protestors Show Up

The National Guard has been deployed to the scene, with orders to stand by and observe the scores of terrorists currently occupying the building.