Podracers Prepare For Portland’s Second Annual Food Cart Derby
‘What is Portland’s best food cart?’ It’s a simple question sure to spark lively debate amongst the city’s vibrant foodie scene. While there may never be a consensus on which cart is tastiest, we will soon know which one is fastest.
This weekend marks the second annual Portland Food Cart Derby, a winding, treacherous race featuring the city’s 25 most popular preparers of meals on wheels. The rules are simple: first cart to make it from Council Crest all the way to the Cartopia pod on Hawthorne Boulevard wins. “After taking second last year, I’m training like crazy,” said MF Tasty owner Eric Gitenstein, taking a break from his virtual reality cart simulator to speak with us.
Competition is fierce, and spectators can expect the carts to make special modifications for the race. The adjustments have less to do with speed and more to do with causing as much Mario Kart-esque destruction as possible. Last year, Portland’s premier pasta cart Gumba almost pulled off an upset victory after head chef Jesse Martinez set a devastating tripwire made of al dente fettuccine. “I thought I had it in the bag after Grilled Cheese Grill and Koi Fusion got tripped up,” lamented Martinez. “But then Nong’s just tore through it with its crispy chicken skin spinning blades. Making matters worse, Matt’s BBQ came out of nowhere and belched a massive hickory smokescreen. It totally turned me around and I got stuck in Potato Champion’s quickpoutine trap.”
With a bustling inner Southeast Portland brick and mortar location, reigning champion Nong Poonsukwattana doesn’t spend as much time in her cart as she used to, but you wouldn’t know it by the way she dominated last year’s race. “The other carts, they’re cute. But anyone who stands between me and my two-peat is going to get skinned.” Portland’s undisputed master of khao man gai gestured towards a series of razor-sharp and utterly mouth-watering blades along the front and back of her truck. She cracked a devilish smile. “Now this is podracing!“