Scientific Breakthrough! Hood Strawberries Now Last Four Hours Before Getting Moldy

Every summer, Oregonians are rewarded with the morsels of their state’s finest produce. With their tender ruby red flesh, Hood strawberries have been a statewide favorite for generations. While their sweetness and juiciness is without match, their hardiness leaves much to be desired. That is until Tuesday, when Oregon farmers unveiled a new cultivar.

“Since their inception in 1965, Hoodies have needed to be consumed within two hours of being purchased at farmers markets, lest they disintegrate into mush,” said Monmouth agriculturalist Juno Winterrowd. “A network of Northwest farmers, in partnership with Oregon State University, has worked to maximize the plants’ positive genetic traits for strength while still keeping the delicious flavor that everyone loves. We are proud to announce that we have bred a new Hood 2.0 strawberry that is so robust that in the right conditions it can last up to four hours!“

This staggering development has whipped Oregon berry enthusiasts into a frenzy. Scientists are not satisfied though, and will next look to expand the Hood strawberry growing season by an additional two days by 2050.