Girl Scouts Release ‘Thicc Mints’ For People Who Have Hit Quarantine Rock Bottom

“We’re thrilled to announce a new variety to our beloved collection of cookies,” said Girl Scouts CEO Sylvia Acevedo during a Zoom interview. “Normally you have to wait until January to get your cookie fix. However, in these troubling, unprecedented times we made the decision to debut these thicc bois to help those who have become completely emotionally numb during quarantine. If you’re craving a reminder of what shame feels like, Thicc Mints are for you.”⁣