“Nooooooo!” Cries Man Who Hasn’t Been To Shari’s Since Bush Administration

Last Sunday, Shari’s Cafe & Pies abruptly closed all of its Oregon locations for good. The restaurant provided a 24-hour diner experience for patrons ever since its first location opened in Hermiston in 1978. The loss was immediately felt by many Oregonians who were last there when George W. Bush was President.

“Stuffed hashbrowns and an Oreo milkshake,” said 37-year-old Raleigh Hills resident Hyde Smith, through tears, when asked what he would miss about Shari’s. “Sometimes a chicken fried steak with country gravy and a stack of pancakes, maybe a slice of pie too. And top it off with three or four cigarettes. It was always the spot to go late at night with my pals after the spring play in high school. Haven’t been since. Haven’t really thought about it since, to be honest.”

Shari’s saw a large hit to their profits in recent years. It was also taken over by a venture capital group who implemented cost-cutting measures that ultimately impacted quality and service, and failed to help the business recover. Locations in the lesser states of California, Washington and Idaho remain open at this time. Smith wished Shari’s farewell. ”I hope that Shari is somewhere enjoying a slice of pie and a metal cup of extra milkshake in heaven. Pie in the sky, if you will.”