Embarrassed Portland Spring Swears It Doesn’t Normally Finish This Quickly

If Portland residents happened to blink during the last week, they may have missed a fleeting spell of sunny blue skies and warm weather that has now given way to overcast skies, colder temperatures and rain in the local forecast. ⁣
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When reached for comment, Spring in Portland was red-faced. “This has 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 happened before,” they told our reporter. “It’s just been a while, that’s all. Lots of Springs happen quickly, it’s more common than you might think. I’m bringing awareness to the cause – I’m a pioneer if you really think about it. Portland is such an attractive city…yeah that’s it. Some towns even take it as a compliment when this happens! The birds were chirping so loud and the air was so crisp, I just started seeing blossoms and my vision got all colorful and I just lost control. Listen, I’m obviously embarrassed, I don’t know what else to say. Portland spring has sprung. Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Call it false spring if you want to hurt my feelings, I probably deserve it. I’m sowwy.”