Scientists Warn Climate Change Will Cause Oktoberfest To Happen In June By 2035

Human-caused climate change is accelerating at such a rate that scientists are struggling to predict what the future holds for our planet. Rising global carbon emissions are a key contributor to increasing global temperatures and the frequency of catastrophic weather events. New long term forecasting predictions show the strong possibility that Oktoberfest could be in June by the year 2035.⁣
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“Our latest meteorological models using state of the art AI tools are dire,” said Portland State University Climatology professor, Dr. Caroline Koester. “If our elected leaders don’t take the climate emergency seriously, the data nearly guarantees that Oktoberfest, normally an early autumn phenomenon, will soon be occurring in June.”
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Dr. Koester went on to warn that Hanukkah in August, daylight savings in July, Presidents’ Day in December, Cinco De Mayo in October, and New Years in March are all near certainties unless we make drastic changes to our political, industrial, energy and economic systems.⁣
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It remains to be seen whether humanity will step up to the plate to ensure a cooler, greener future or whether lederhosen will need to be manufactured out of a more breathable and summery material.