CDC Says If You Went To Bushwhackers Last Weekend, Go Ahead And Assume You’re Positive

The CDC advises all buckaroos who patronized Bushwhackers in Tualatin last Friday and Saturday to assume they are positive for SARS-CoV-2. 

“Let us be clear; if you dined on buzzard wings or the cowboy grub combo, assume you have the omicron,” said CDC spokesperson Rafael Braniff. “If you danced the “Boot Scootin’ Boogie” or “Cowboy Casanova,” you are at an acute risk. For the safety of your community, please isolate, test, and, when it is revealed that you are positive, report your case to your county’s health department.”