Gritty Moves To Pacific Northwest After Matching With Sasquatch On Hinge

The Philadelphia Flyers’ beloved mascot Gritty is moving out to the Pacific Northwest after meeting Sasquatch on Hinge and subsequently falling in love. The two are smitten, enjoying a romance that has mostly existed online. Now, they’re taking it to the next step – Sasquatch has convinced Gritty to U-Haul it to our neck of the woods. ⁣
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“We found love in a Northwest place,” gushed Gritty, the seven-foot-two inch furry orange creature. “I love Philly and Philly loves me, but during the pandemic I’ve been feeling both claustrophobic and incredibly lonely. I can’t wait to be out in the middle of the forest with someone whom I’ve made a deep connection with. Love is already hard to find, and Sasquatch is really hard to find. I feel like I’ve had to wait my whole life, but when you find the one you just know.” ⁣
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The love twinkling in Gritty’s googly eyes does come with moments of a harsh reality. “I know I just got to Philly and it’s going to be really scary to move across the country without a job,” Gritty acknowledged. “But I’m hopeful that the Winterhawks, or heck, maybe even the Blazers will one day need someone with my kind of experience. I’ve also heard that I’m a big fan with Portland Antifa. That sounds like a soccer team. I could do soccer. If not, maybe I can make friends with the ‘Baseball to PDX’ people and jump on that train when it comes to town. Although I’m not sure what my commute will look like…come to think of it I still don’t really know where Sasquatch actually lives.”