Grassa Begins Serving TikTok Pasta In Effort To Corner Gen Z Market

Portland’s own fast casual Italian joint, Grassa, released a new dish catered towards a very special generation of customers. Finally perfecting their version of the baked feta and tomato pasta that has gone viral on Tiktok, Grassa’s head chef Sam Gutierrez was effusive. We asked them to tell us about their new special without telling us about their new special.⁣⁣
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“We stan all of our Gen Z customer queens, no cap,” they stated. “Or should I say we high key simp over them? Either way, this new dish is absolutely bussin’. Bet. I’ll give you the tea on the recipe. First we start with the cheese. Soon may the fetaman come, to bring us sugar and tea and Roma tomatoes which we bake with olive oil and spices that are savage, classy, bougie, ratchet. Then after we Corvette Corvette and hop in the muthafuckin’ jet like that, we bake the goodies up and toss in our hand-cut Gen Ziti pasta. Finally we middle part the dish and add a strip of colored LED lights that really make this meal out of pocket and that’s clappin’ cheeks on periodt. You can’t forget the bev, nevah nevah nevah. Oh no, I hope you don’t fall…in love with this pasta!” ⁣⁣
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Grassa will begin serving their reimagining of the tiktok pasta beginning Thursday for takeout only. Customers and competitors alike have already taken notice. When reached for comment, Grassa chef Saul Mutombo had only a few words while some ominous music played: “Oh no. Oh no. Oh no no no no no.“⁣⁣