Federal Agents Tear Gas Wildfires After Hearing Flames Are Damaging Property

Wildfires are roaring throughout the West Coast, putting lives at risk and forcing entire communities to drop everything and evacuate. Governor Kate Brown declared a state of emergency in Oregon, and said she expects the greatest loss of lives and property from wildfires in the state’s history. That caught the attention of the Department of Homeland Security.⁣
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“Did someone say property damage?!” bellowed DHS Secretary Chad Wolf. “Violent destruction of property will not be tolerated! We must protect what is most cherished and held dear to us: capital assets.“⁣
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Immediately, heavily armed troops piled into unmarked minivans and barreled towards the Riverside Fire near Estacada. The vans tore down Highway 211 as cars fleeing the fire snaked for miles in the other direction. Several emergency vehicles had to swerve out of the way as the vans careened down the road.⁣
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Multiple firefighters witnessed federal agents indiscriminately shooting tear gas and rubber bullets at the fires, and one even saw them attempt to scoop up flames into their rental vehicle and drive off. ⁣
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“We’re trying to contain this thing and save as many lives as possible, and all they seem to care about is violently retaliating to property damage,” remarked Clackamas County firefighter Hal Mustazzio. “I’m not sure what they’re trying to accomplish, but the use of force has only made things worse.“⁣