Politics
Portland Launches Preemptive Strike On Vancouver Fluoride Processing Plants
Residents of Vancouver, Washington awoke this morning to a series of thunderous booms.
Governor Kotek Renames Columbia River To ‘River Of Oregon’
At press time Kotek, as part of her “Oregon First” agenda, had successfully lobbied Google to change the name in their Maps app by threatening to levy huge tariffs on their data center in The Dalles, located deep in the River of Oregon Gorge.
Sam Adams Confident Gaetz Withdrawal Must Mean He Must Be Next In Line For Attorney General
Following the news, Portland’s own disgraced former mayor Sam Adams’ team quickly sprung into action.
Anticipating Backlash, Mayor-Elect Changes Name To Keith Ida B. Wells
In a surprise first act, the mayor-elect took swift and drastic action to mitigate potential backlash to his name.
Carmen Rubio Vows To Defund Parking Police If Elected Mayor
She also favors a citizens review board for parking police and an examination on restorative parking justice.
Portland Launches Preemptive Strike On Vancouver Fluoride Processing Plants
Residents of Vancouver, Washington awoke this morning to a series of thunderous booms.
Governor Kotek Renames Columbia River To ‘River Of Oregon’
At press time Kotek, as part of her “Oregon First” agenda, had successfully lobbied Google to change the name in their Maps app by threatening to levy huge tariffs on their data center in The Dalles, located deep in the River of Oregon Gorge.
Sam Adams Confident Gaetz Withdrawal Must Mean He Must Be Next In Line For Attorney General
Following the news, Portland’s own disgraced former mayor Sam Adams’ team quickly sprung into action.
Anticipating Backlash, Mayor-Elect Changes Name To Keith Ida B. Wells
In a surprise first act, the mayor-elect took swift and drastic action to mitigate potential backlash to his name.
Carmen Rubio Vows To Defund Parking Police If Elected Mayor
She also favors a citizens review board for parking police and an examination on restorative parking justice.
“I Fucked My Way To The Top!” – Ted Wheeler Reflects On His Two Terms As Mayor Of Portland
Outgoing Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler’s career in politics started when he finished 11th out of a field of 12 candidates in a 1993 Boston City Council election.
Rene Gonzalez Pledges To Balance Budget Through Massive Property Tax On Homeless Camps
“Our tax dollars support public parks and spaces, and if elected I would brilliantly also collect taxes from the people temporarily living in them."
Alitos Praise Oaks Park For Hanging Riders Upside Down
28 riders were stranded 50 feet in the air, suspended upside down for over a half hour until first responders were able to lower them down
Greedy, Money-Grubbing Teachers Demand Livable Wage
Covetous local educators continue to make unreasonable demands such as increased salaries and smaller class sizes, as well as expanded mental health support for students and improved building safety.
Nation Watches Trailer For New Season Of White POTUS
The nation received a sneak peek into the latest season of White POTUS Tuesday evening. Audiences were predictably divided.
Report: If You Made It To Salt & Straw Before 8:00 PM, Stay In Line!
Salt & Straw scoopers are mandated by law to make sure that you are able to pick your favorite flavor of ice cream, along with your choice of toppings, and a selection of either a waffle cone or bowl, so long as you are in line before 8:00pm.