Local
West Hills Martini Sign Now Mocktail To Cater To Gen Z
For over 50 years, the various owners have proudly displayed the light-up olive garnished cocktail for the whole town to enjoy. This year, to stay relevant, the martini is getting
City Addresses Record Crowds By Expanding Peacock Lane Into Freeway
The festively decorated houses on Southeast Portland’s Peacock Lane attract tens of thousands of visitors every holiday season. The past few years have seen crowds swell at the beloved local Christmas attraction, thanks to social media and families with tight budgets looking to do free activities.
Zupan’s Discounts Bananas To $650 Each For Customers Who Lose SNAP Benefits
Zupan's is planning to heavily mark down a number of typical grocery items for all Oregonians impacted by the loss of SNAP benefits for the duration of the government shutdown. This includes $650 for a banana, King Salmon at $259/lb, cans of San Marzano tomatoes for $400 and Cosmic Crisp apples for just $999.99.
COACH BILLUPS ARRESTED BY FBI! Portlanders Prepare For Another Emergency Naked Bike Ride
Portland Trail Blazers head coach Chauncey Billups was arrested on federal charges by the FBI on Thursday morning as a part of a sweeping illegal gambling sting. Community leaders leapt into action.
“Antifa General Captured,” Declares Kristi Noem, As Seven Federal Troops Tackle Unipiper
It remains unclear what a unicycle riding, bagpipe playing, beloved Portland icon had to do with anything related to protests over immigration enforcement operations.
West Hills Martini Sign Now Mocktail To Cater To Gen Z
For over 50 years, the various owners have proudly displayed the light-up olive garnished cocktail for the whole town to enjoy. This year, to stay relevant, the martini is getting shaken up, and it’s causing quite a stir.
City Addresses Record Crowds By Expanding Peacock Lane Into Freeway
The festively decorated houses on Southeast Portland’s Peacock Lane attract tens of thousands of visitors every holiday season. The past few years have seen crowds swell at the beloved local Christmas attraction, thanks to social media and families with tight budgets looking to do free activities.
Zupan’s Discounts Bananas To $650 Each For Customers Who Lose SNAP Benefits
Zupan's is planning to heavily mark down a number of typical grocery items for all Oregonians impacted by the loss of SNAP benefits for the duration of the government shutdown. This includes $650 for a banana, King Salmon at $259/lb, cans of San Marzano tomatoes for $400 and Cosmic Crisp apples for just $999.99.
COACH BILLUPS ARRESTED BY FBI! Portlanders Prepare For Another Emergency Naked Bike Ride
Portland Trail Blazers head coach Chauncey Billups was arrested on federal charges by the FBI on Thursday morning as a part of a sweeping illegal gambling sting. Community leaders leapt into action.
“Antifa General Captured,” Declares Kristi Noem, As Seven Federal Troops Tackle Unipiper
It remains unclear what a unicycle riding, bagpipe playing, beloved Portland icon had to do with anything related to protests over immigration enforcement operations.
Multnomah Falls Turned Off Due To Government Shutdown
The federal government funds the water bill that keeps the beautiful Multnomah Falls flowing. This means that until congress can pass their budget, the spigot for the falls will be turned off.
“It’s Worse Than We Could Have Imagined,” Exclaims Troop Trying Voodoo Doughnut
National Guard members have been busy interrogating baristas at ethically sourced coffee shops, patrolling tree-lined streets for antifa, and eliminating threats at the war torn Pittock Mansion. One such threat at a tourist hotspot surprised even the most battle hardened of soldiers.
National Guard Troops Raid Antifa Supply Depot
Over the weekend, a battalion of uniformed soldiers reported locating a key antifa supply depot selling organic produce, hot sauce, and other insurgency essentials.
Swedish House Mafia To Headline Tabor Dance
Normally Tabor Dance showcases local DJ talent, but this Wednesday a special surprise is in store.
Providence Park Security Nearly Finished Scanning Tickets From Saturday’s Post Malone Concert
Over 30,000 fans of pop-country flocked from all over Washington and suburbs of Portland to Providence Park on Saturday night in hopes of enjoying a Post Malone and Jelly Roll concert. The venue and its staff had other ideas.
Ultimate Wingwoman? Tula-Tu Won’t Snitch That This The Third Date You’ve Brought To Zoo This Week
While Asian elephants are generally gentler and more passive than their African relatives, Tula-Tu has shown a propensity for discernment.
Portland Launches Preemptive Strike On Vancouver Fluoride Processing Plants
Residents of Vancouver, Washington awoke this morning to a series of thunderous booms.