Food
Zupan’s Discounts Bananas To $650 Each For Customers Who Lose SNAP Benefits
Zupan's is planning to heavily mark down a number of typical grocery items for all Oregonians impacted by the loss of SNAP benefits for the duration of the government shutdown.
“It’s Worse Than We Could Have Imagined,” Exclaims Troop Trying Voodoo Doughnut
National Guard members have been busy interrogating baristas at ethically sourced coffee shops, patrolling tree-lined streets for antifa, and eliminating threats at the war torn Pittock Mansion. One such threat at a tourist hotspot surprised even the most battle hardened of soldiers.
National Guard Troops Raid Antifa Supply Depot
Over the weekend, a battalion of uniformed soldiers reported locating a key antifa supply depot selling organic produce, hot sauce, and other insurgency essentials.
Burgerville Proudly Declares, “We’re Not Like Other Fast Food Joints – We’re More Expensive!”
Burgerville vows to continue charging premium prices for a non-premium product, and also vows not to engage with the Burgerville Workers Union’s demand for fair wages.
Local Brewery Offers Selection Of Dry Carbs To Pair With Selection Of Wet Carbs
These food and beer pairings make up two of the three physical states of carbohydrates. When combined inside your belly they activate each other to create the third state, a gas that gets expelled in both directions as you exit the brewery.
Zupan’s Discounts Bananas To $650 Each For Customers Who Lose SNAP Benefits
Zupan's is planning to heavily mark down a number of typical grocery items for all Oregonians impacted by the loss of SNAP benefits for the duration of the government shutdown. This includes $650 for a banana, King Salmon at $259/lb, cans of San Marzano tomatoes for $400 and Cosmic Crisp apples for just $999.99.
“It’s Worse Than We Could Have Imagined,” Exclaims Troop Trying Voodoo Doughnut
National Guard members have been busy interrogating baristas at ethically sourced coffee shops, patrolling tree-lined streets for antifa, and eliminating threats at the war torn Pittock Mansion. One such threat at a tourist hotspot surprised even the most battle hardened of soldiers.
National Guard Troops Raid Antifa Supply Depot
Over the weekend, a battalion of uniformed soldiers reported locating a key antifa supply depot selling organic produce, hot sauce, and other insurgency essentials.
Burgerville Proudly Declares, “We’re Not Like Other Fast Food Joints – We’re More Expensive!”
Burgerville vows to continue charging premium prices for a non-premium product, and also vows not to engage with the Burgerville Workers Union’s demand for fair wages.
Local Brewery Offers Selection Of Dry Carbs To Pair With Selection Of Wet Carbs
These food and beer pairings make up two of the three physical states of carbohydrates. When combined inside your belly they activate each other to create the third state, a gas that gets expelled in both directions as you exit the brewery.
Heartbreaking! Insufferable Neighbor With Chicken Coop Now Cheapest Source Of Eggs
While some Portlanders are taking out loans to fill their cartons, others have turned to a previously unthinkable hyper-local source.
Papa Murphy’s And Papa Haydn Collaborate On Cake That You Have To Bake At Home
For nearly 50 years, local eatery Papa Haydn has delighted Portlanders with its regional fare and eye-catching desserts.
Dry, Underseasoned Thanksgiving Dinner Begins With Bland Acknowledgement
Today, millions of families around the nation gather to celebrate Thanksgiving, each with their own sets of traditions and customs.
“Nooooooo!” Cries Man Who Hasn’t Been To Shari’s Since Bush Administration
Last Sunday, Shari’s Cafe & Pies abruptly closed all of its Oregon locations for good.
Farmers Market Officially Opens At New PDX Terminal
Complete with street performers, local ballot initiative canvassers and raw honey harvesters, the market will be open to the public on Sundays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.
The Baker’s Mark Sells Out Of Subs Before Serving First Customer
Even early arriving customers were met with disappointment.
Scientific Breakthrough! Hood Strawberries Now Last Four Hours Before Getting Moldy
The staggering development has whipped Oregon berry enthusiasts into a frenzy.