Ultimate Wingwoman? Tula-Tu Won’t Snitch That This The Third Date You’ve Brought To Zoo This Week

Thousands of animal enthusiasts from all over the Pacific Northwest flock weekly to Washington Park to get a glimpse of the newest member of the Oregon Zoo’s elephant family. Tula-Tu is a 5-month-old Asian elephant calf who has taken the world by storm with her playful demeanor and adorably tiny trunk. While Asian elephants are generally gentler and more passive than their African relatives, Tula-Tu has shown a propensity for discernment.

Tula-Tu has remained particularly tight-trunked in regards to disclosure of zoo guests’ potential romantic partners. Nob Hill philanderer August Bellamy has turned up three times so far this week, each time with a new love interest. Bellamy has recited the fact that “Tula” means balance in Sanskrit to each date.

When caught up with Tula-Tu earlier today and she had plenty to say about a wide array of topics including the new batch of Salt and Straw flavors, Oregon lawmakers striking down a bill to cut funding for universal pre-k, and the genocide in Gaza. When questions shifted to whether some visitors had been to see her more than once this week, possibly with different partners, she winked, turned slyly away and stepped on a cantaloupe.