Portland Gear Celebrates 100th Item Sold To Actual Portland Resident

The Rose City’s loudest apparel company reached a huge milestone earlier this week. On Wednesday, after over seven years of business, Portland Gear sold its one hundredth item – a gray tee emblazoned with their logo – to a Portland resident who spilled ketchup on his shirt while dining nearby. The customer lives in Garden Home, on a street that barely lies within the city limits.⁣
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“Rip City, this one’s for you,” said head of marketing, Fitzsimons Green as he took a knee, pounded his chest and bowed his head. “To the city that raised us, the city that pays us and the city that never frays us, Portland Gear is for the people. As our sales to Portlanders reaches triple digits, we know that for our brand, the sky’s the limit.“⁣
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Despite anemic sales numbers from people living inside the city limits, Portland Gear has been able to stay open due to tourists, Lake Oswego moms shopping for their middle schoolers, and confused Pittsburgh Pirates fans, core demographics who make up the majority of their apparel purchases.