Benevolent Baker Preaches Gluten Tolerance

As this bitterly partisan year nears its conclusion, one benevolent baker is making it his mission to find a path forward so we might all break bread as one. Prominent Portland baker Peter Davis is calling for the end of the war on gluten, and uses his platform as an authority to spread his message of gluten tolerance. “Gluten is being unfairly persecuted throughout this nation, and it’s especially true here in Portland. All gluten wants to do is bind things together. Gluten doesn’t care if its community is white or whole wheat. It just wants to help create a powerful bond and help all that it touches rise as one.“⁣
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Gluten detractors argue that while Davis’ intentions might be noble, gluten is far more inflammatory than he claims. “The mere sight of gluten literally makes me shit my pants,” lamented recent Santa Clara transplant Lauren Morgan. “Whenever I go to a restaurant, I have to ask the chef whether my dish was prepared using any cooking utensil that has ever come in contact with gluten.“⁣
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