Portland Man In Really Bad Place Right Now – Not Mentally, Just In Gresham

Things were not looking good for Andrew Lee – incorrect Apple Maps directions led the happy and healthy 31-year-old father of two into the heart of Gresham, and no matter where he turned, things didn’t look good. “Why is the barista in that roadside coffee hut wearing nothing but a bikini?” he wondered. “Swimsuits and hot coffee seems like a bad combination – plus it’s like 40 degrees out!” ⁣
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Lee continued his fruitless pursuit of the I-84 Westbound on-ramp. “Oh boy, this could be the end of the road for me,” he exclaimed suddenly, flipping his car into reverse because the road ended without warning.⁣
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As of press time, Lee’s wife Shelly was tracking Andrew’s whereabouts on her phone. “Andrew is a brilliant, caring, affectionate, and universally beloved husband, father, and community member,” she asserted. “He’s just a misguided soul. I hope he finds his way…out of Gresham.“⁣