Roommates Pool Together Stimulus Checks To Go In On Single Can Of Beans From Zupan’s

Americans are finally receiving their long-awaited stimulus checks, and the talk of the town is squarely revolved around how people plan on utilizing their $1200. Nob Hill roommates Terry Prince, Britt Palmer, Andy Winters and Imelda Kirk sat around their cramped dining room to discuss the possibilities.⁣
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“I know it’s not the point, but I might save mine,” said Kirk. “Sure, my job is secure now, but who knows how things could change in the coming weeks.” Winters nodded in agreement. “Can’t blame you. I’m definitely donating half, but the rest I’d like to use to support local businesses.” ⁣
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Prince, lost in thought, finally chimed in. “Hey guys, you know how we never go to Zupan’s because it’s so stupidly expensive?” The others nodded in agreement. “What if we pooled our checks and bought something from there?” His roommates were initially reluctant, but eventually decided to at least step foot in the store to see what all the fuss is about.⁣
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A quick stroll through the aisles immediately ruled out most of the store. There was no way four measly stimulus checks would cover the cost of a luxury item like a piece of fruit, a head of lettuce or a loaf of bread. ⁣
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After nearly giving up and leaving, Palmer noticed a can of black beans. “Hey guys, come check this out!” They gathered around the can excitedly, and after brief deliberation the roommates pulled the trigger.⁣
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They returned home to their dining room table and crowded around the can. Prince asked the question he assumed his roommates were also wondering. “So…they’ve got to be magic beans, right? There’s no way it’s just a $4800 can of regular beans. I’ll bet they’ll never run out. We should definitely plant some to see if they grow into a giant beanstalk.“⁣