Psilocybin Therapy Supported By Four Out Of Five Heads On Doctor

On Jan. 1, Oregon became the first state to allow adult use of psilocybin, the psychoactive ingredient found in “magic” mushrooms. Those interested in partaking in psychedelic-assisted therapy simply need to book time with a psilocybin therapy facilitator. ⁣
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As psychedelic-assisted therapy takes off, doctors are closely monitoring the program to report on the impact it will have on new patients. In its first week, an overwhelming four out of five heads on the same doctor have supported the therapy – reporting how good music sounds, how nice the grass feels on your feet, how shiny the leaves are, and how nature is one big lung that breathes in sync with your own breath. The fifth head was skeptical, noting that “everyone thinks you’re so annoying”, that “you’re going to die alone,” and that “you’re definitely going to be stuck like this forever.”⁣
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While the therapy was granted via statewide legislative action, 25 out of Oregon’s 36 counties have opted out of the program. “There’s no need for your so-called ‘plant-based’ therapies here,” proclaimed Douglas county official Walter Peterborn. “We’ve been doing just fine supporting our residents with methamphetamine therapies, and I don’t see a reason to change course to your hippy bullcrap”. ⁣
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Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler has welcomed the new therapy centers. “My father had a real problem with psychedelic users frolicking in his forests. He couldn’t chop those trees down when people were near them! I’m proud that we’ve advanced so much to have safe clinics, with laminate tiling, plain beige walls, and fluorescent lighting available for people to have a safer trip, free from the distractions that make psychedelics recreationally appealing.” ⁣
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The Scallion plans on reporting back with full results in the coming year.