Lloyd Center Applies To Become UNESCO World Heritage Site In Last Ditch Attempt To Avoid Foreclosure

Portland tenants aren’t the only ones struggling to pay their bills this pandemic. The Lloyd Center hasn’t paid anything on it’s $110 million dollar debt since October 2020, which has led to a full takeover by a New York company rumored to tear the whole mall down and put up – you guessed it – luxury condos. One group of Lloyd building managers and local mall enthusiasts are putting together one last-ditch effort to prevent the 61-year-old building from demolition. They’re applying for the Lloyd to be a designated UNESCO World Heritage site. ⁣
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“It’s a goddamn travesty that anyone would even consider tearing down the Lloyd Center,” remarked Rick Reddenbach, a mall cop of 42 years. “This is where Tonya Harding learned how to skate. It’s where Wetzel made his qone billionth pretzel. Most importantly, it’s where the Supreme Court stuck it to those goddamn dirty hippies protesting the war back in ‘68 and told them to get the hell out of the building – a landmark victory for us security professionals!” ⁣
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Lloyd Center Executive Director Denise Waldorffenstein is unwaveringly optimistic that the heritage status will be granted. “Read the rules and you’ll agree with me,” said Waldorffenstein, before reciting a line from the UNESCO operational guidelines: “heritage sites are ‘irreplaceable sources of life and inspiration…our touchstones, our points of reference, our identity.’ Is there a more perfect description of the Lloyd’s impact on Portland then, now, and forever? I don’t think so.”