BALLOT DON’T LIE: Blazers Demand Hold On Release Of All Star Starters Until Every Legal Vote Counted

The NBA announced its starting lineups for next month’s All Star Game, and fans of the Portland Trail Blazers and its superstar captain Damian Lillard were in disbelief. ⁣
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“By every metric, Lillard deserves to be a starter,” insisted local sports data analyst Rick Parks. “And yet, he was snubbed by fans in favor of Luka Dončić. Luka is cool, but he’s no Dame. There’s something fishy going on here!” ⁣
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Trail Blazers’ senior advisor and legal consigliere Rasheed Wallace has gathered a team of like minded attorneys to investigate “undeniable systematic All Star voter fraud.” When reached for comment, Wallace’s staff referred us to their one sentence legal brief reading simply, “legal BALLots don’t lie.”⁣
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