Blazers Partner With F.D.A. To Give Away Vaccine When Team Scores 100 Points

The Covid-19 vaccine rollout has largely been a disaster thus far. Just last week, Oregon governor Kate Brown issued a series of scathing tweets upon learning that the state wouldn’t be receiving its promised allotment of doses. Undeterred, Brown brokered a partnership between the Portland Trail Blazers and the Food and Drug Administration to distribute the vaccine in the most Rip City way possible.⁣
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“Scoring 100 points has long been an important milestone during games,” explained Blazers CEO Chris McGowan. “Once upon a time, fans would chant ‘CHA-LU-PA’. Now, thanks to our bold new partnership, they’ll be chanting ‘MO-DER-NA’ – from their homes, of course. Obviously helping get Portlanders vaccinated is the right thing to do, but it also makes financial sense for us – we want to get folks back into the stadium safely as soon as possible!“⁣
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To unlock access to the vaccine, you will need to download the official Trail Blazers app. Then, when the team scores 100 points, go into the app and sign up for an available vaccination time slot. You will need to verify in the app that you are in fact an Oregon resident, so Vancouverites should check whether the Supersonics are running a similar promotion.⁣