“Everything Is Great, Thanks,” Aerosolizes Maskless Diner To Server

 “Everything Is Great, Thanks,” Aerosolizes Maskless Diner To Server

“It’s a little weird to see the service staff wearing so much PPE,” added Ranes, who, unbeknownst to her, is currently asymptomatic and extremely infectious.

Scientists and epidemiologists agree that COVID-19 is primarily spread person to person through respiratory aerosolized viral droplets. Social distancing, wearing masks and avoiding prolonged indoor interactions are widely seen as the best ways to combat the virus until a vaccine is widely available. A Scallion investigation has concluded that those guidelines pretty much go out the window when it comes to indoor dining.⁣

When Tualatin couple Mindy Ranes and Carl Pemberton went out to catch a bite to eat in the Pearl District last weekend, they chose to eat inside and quickly removed their masks once seated. “It was a little weird for the first few months, not being able to eat at restaurants with my sweetie,” Pemberton lamented. “I’m glad things are basically back to normal now.” ⁣

“It’s a little weird to see the service staff wearing so much PPE,” added Ranes, who, unbeknownst to her, is currently asymptomatic and extremely infectious. “How can I tell if they’re giving me service with a smile while they’re all bundled up? I know how much they must miss interacting with customers so I make a point to be extra communicative with whomever I can flag down. I want to let them know how every course is, what I think their zodiac sign is and what shows I’ve been watching on Netflix. I make sure to speak extra loudly so that they can hear me through their mask and face shield. I know they really appreciate that.“⁣

As of press time, Ranes and Pemberton’s uninsured sever was starting to feel a little bit sluggish. He still plans on heading into work this evening because he can’t afford to lose any shifts.⁣