Local Man Convinced He Already Had Chlamydia In December

Clackamas fuckboy Armondo Walklet is pretty certain that he had chlamydia last holiday season. The Scallion was fascinated by his field research and caught up with the young man to hear his claims that he had the disease long before cases exploded all over the world. ⁣
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“I can say with 90% certainty that I had chlamydia around Christmas after being exposed at Dig A Pony – the chlamydia epicenter. It hurt when I peed and I had a pesky urethra cough that wouldn’t go away. My symptoms were manageable and lasted about twelve days before my immune system began to expel it out of my body.“⁣
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When asked why he hadn’t contacted healthcare professionals or former lovers about his suspected case, Walklet responded in typical fuckboy fashion: “It’s simple really. Doing anything like that would be unnecessary, as I am now confident that I have the chlamydia antibodies, and so I’m good bro. Looking back, it’s terrifying to know that there are thousands of asymptomatic carriers out there just waiting to infect others. I really think everyone should just stay home for two weeks and we can get rid of this thing once and for all.“