Nation Agrees To Buy One Copy Of John Bolton Tell-All And Share It For Free Online

Tomorrow, Former US National Security Advisor John Bolton officially releases his self-congratulatory tell-all about his experience during his 519 days working for the Trump administration. The book “The Room Where it Happened” has hinted at important information such as “Trump is guilty” and “The President absolutely asked Ukraine for favors” – information that should have been shared in a public testimony during Trump’s impeachment in January, but was withheld primarily because John Bolton is a massive Yankee Doodle douchebag. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
In response to this monumental act of cowardice, the nation’s readers have agreed to pool funds for one single copy to disperse for free online. While many Americans don’t want to support Bolton’s opportunistic cash grab they still are itching to learn about all the juicy, salacious, eye-opening revelations such as the bombshell that Trump has no idea what he’s doing and that most of the administration consists of grifters trying to take whatever they can for themselves.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Now that Bolton has released his book he plans on returning home to the walrus habitat at the Newport Aquarium along with SuperBowl LIV winning head coach Andy Reid.⁣