New Michelob Ultravirus Offers Twice The Infection Rate Of Coronavirus With Half The Carbs

Coronavirus, 2020’s most viral phenomenon, has taken the world by storm. It is dominating much of the news cycle and has created a global panic as its infection rate steadily climbs. In an effort to capture lightning in a bottle, Michelob’s brewers collaborated with a renegade team of Soviet bioterrorists to create a new beer guaranteeing twice the infection rate with half the carbs.⁣
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“Michelob ULTRAVIRUS is the superior virus with no artificial colors or flavors,” explained VP of Marketing Azania Andrews in a written statement. “With just 2.6 carbs and 95 calories per bottle, you can enjoy the crisp, clean infection of Michelob ULTRAVIRUS. It’s the perfect compliment to your active lifestyle. Bring a six-pack to share after your office softball game – we guarantee that it’ll put you and your coworkers in the hospital!”