St. John’s Couple Doesn’t Understand Why No One Will Come Visit

Local couple Anita Andrews and Lamar Gordon couldn’t believe their luck last month when they closed on their first house, a two bedroom bungalow in St Johns neighborhood. “We were paying like $2100 a month for an apartment half this size in the Pearl,” said Andrews. “Sure it costs us $30 to take a Lyft into downtown, and sure my commute home from work takes over an hour, but that’s a small price to pay.”
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Andrews and Gordon’s close knit circle of friends were quick to congratulate the couple on their new home, and the outpouring of support motivated them to throw a housewarming party earlier this month. “We were so excited to actually have space to host a proper get-together,” lamented Gordon. “I even bought a keg from Occidental. But then the RSVPs started coming in.” One by one, their friends began backing out, citing everything from prior engagements to physical ailments. “I know for a fact Jen got her flu shot,” commented Andrews bitterly. “She’s not fooling anyone.”
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Andrews and Gordon are still waiting for their first houseguest almost a month into their home ownership. For their part, they haven’t left St Johns in nearly two weeks for anything other than work, and have begun looking for jobs in their neighborhood to avoid the commute.