City Council Hopes To Solve Houseless Crisis By Deploying Therapy Llamas To Camps

 City Council Hopes To Solve Houseless Crisis By Deploying Therapy Llamas To Camps

As housing prices steadily increase and accessibility to resources and services continues to lag, more and more Portlanders find themselves without a safe place to live. In response, the City of Portland has taken decisive action, deploying dozens of therapy llamas to houseless camps across the city. ⁣

“After extensive research and years of bureaucratic coordination, we have settled on a plan to help our houseless population,” proclaimed Dan Ryan, the city commissioner who oversees the Portland Housing Bureau. “We considered many avenues such as childcare, mental health services, addiction specialists, job training resources, diverting funds to Portland Street Response and reducing law enforcement involvement, but we settled on llamas as the most impactful option that would provide a tangible impact hastily to our unhoused residents.“⁣

“This problem impacts everyone living and visiting our city, which is why I am pleased to announce that we are sending out our best and brightest,” wrote Mayor Ted Wheeler in an email when reached for comment. “Poncho has been providing therapy services for over a decade in a variety of communities and Kendrick Llamar has unique experience working in indigenous and latinx spaces. I know that our municipal government does not always get it right, but this time, I’m confident that we completely crushed it.” ⁣

City council members look forward to a city where everyone is housed and, while Portlanders experiencing houselessness were not consulted in this process, they are confident that this action will accomplish that goal.